LongBalls ShortShaft has received images taken the night of, and morning after Tiger Woods’ epic car crash.
This is the club I used to bludgeon my cheating husband with.
"All in all, I'm feeling OK."
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Dec
03
2009
Michelson Offers Support To Woods
Phil Michelson dipped his titties into the Tiger Woods whore-banging scandal this week offering “back swing tips and moral support” to Elin Woods.
Said Michelson, “Amy and I just want Elin to know we’re here for her if she needs us in any way. Like how to improve her ball striking, or skull crushing skills as it were. Amy and I met Elin at the Presidents cup and we had a great talk about how to crush a human skull with a 6-iron in low light after a couple of glasses of Chardonnay. So she knows we’re here for her with duct tape and gloves and cement mix, should she need our moral support.”
Other PGA Tour pros also offered Woods support. Charles Howell III sent a box of shovels and a map with directions to what Howell described simply as “Hungry Alligator Pit Here!”
Kenny Perry also called Elin offering to “stop by for some titty fucking” anytime.
Nov
25
2009
Awkward Silence: Fred Couples Pawns Persian Fuck Swing Collection To Guy Boros
November 24, 2009
Palm Springs, CA
PGA Tour professionals, Freddy ‘Boom-Boom‘ and Guy Boros shared an awkward moment of silence Mondaywhen Boros arrived at Couple’s estate to purchase Couple’s prized collection of Persian fuck swings (circa 1978).
Couples, thinking he had sold the $25,000 collection anonymously via eBay, expressed a bit of “awkward surprise” when Boros arrived to finalize the purchase. “Guy and I go way back. We used to run together back in the crazy days, so he kind of knew about the collection and what I did with them and all, so it was just kind of surreal seeing him there grinning with a check in his hand.”
Selling the legendary items under the pseudonym ‘Dr. Boom Shaft’, Couples was pleased to see the price steadily tick up during the online auction. Said Couples, “Yeah, it was great. Some guy named Golden18 from Juniper, Florida and another bidder named NaughtyOlGuy kept going back and forth driving the price up and up.”
Upon realizing Boros was the winning bidder, Couples confessed feeling, “a sense of unease…and almost nausea, really. Guy had this creepy look in his eye when he was signing the check. He kept looking at me smiling as he loaded the swings in his mini-van and saying, ‘this is gonna be so much fun.’ The way he said ’so much’ gave me the chills. I wished I’d never bought the damn things in the first place. It just all felt so dirty…”
